she needs my support not my advice

With so many hopes and desires, she married him.Everyone considered him to be the best guy she could ever come across in her life, her parents too felt same and so the marriage bells rang and she tied knots, to be with him forever…

She was one of the beautiful bride that a guy can think for…young, beautiful, talented, educated and a girl with lots of innocence who just longed to be loved and cared by her better half….with many hopes and desires she entered his house to make it theirs….life seemed to be perfectly beautiful for her and she was enjoying her marital bliss…

She has always thought marriages were meant to be happy and contented…her parents were the perfect example of a happy married life and so were her expectations from her own marriage…but all her expectation came to a halt when just after a month of her marriage, her husband came out of his goodness and started considering her immature to handle things…arguments started picking up between them and so were the reconciliation…. The love which was blooming between them now begins to lose its charm…she thought of running to her parent’s abode after most of their arguments, with a thought that she might find some peace there and perhaps maybe with her absence he will realize her importance more. Without actually apprehending that to run away from any situation like this will never make her comprehend things but will further make it more complicated…

Slowly the scorns turned into abuses, he started raising hand on her, and started degrading her socially…enduring all this she longed for someone with whom she can speak out her things…many lend ears to hear her suffering but there was no real empathy for her and what was there was mere superficiality…she talked to her parents but they instructed her to adjust…she was still in a dilemma of what to do and what not do and then she decided to be vocal about her abuses and torment….it’s been almost a year and there was nothing astonishing and beautiful left in her marriage now…

“She married him to be on his side but what he did has made her move aside of his life”

With all the pain she has undergone she moved out of his house to stand for herself and to fight for her self-respect…her parents too realized their mistake and supported her in her endeavor to move out of that strained relationship…they had shun the advice of people around who had been advocating her to adjust …their lovable child was now not meant to bear any more pain and anguish…

She stayed with her parents and started making an effort to get a job for herself to be financially independent…gradually she got a job and her engrossment in work brought a change in her life…her routine was changed, she was no more crying, no more abused…she started smiling and she started reliving every day of her life to fullest…

Isn’t this the most common story which we could relate too, as among many of our known’s someone might be going through the same situation in her life in a same or maybe a little different way… but the pangs of pain and torments are exactly same to feel for the people who are in such situation….

As an individual if we see a person around us in such situation, it is always better to make a person feel confident about their own self rather than to evoke them with an advice to adjust in their current situation….every time compromising on things is certainly not to be considered as the only option… people who have been in such a situation has already lost lots of self-confidence because of what they have gone through, so it is always better to upgrade them with some confidence, which they are actually looking for when they are speaking their heart out before their friends and family… Every person has a right to live their life with utmost love and self-respect, so why as an individual we feel that we are free to advise them to compromise on things which are already complicated for them…..!!!

The pain is actually felt by those who bear it and not by those who just see and listen to it…so if ever we see a person undergoing such a pain it’s better to support a person first to let them gain some confidence about themselves then to pour in with advice. Support a person to find ways to enrich their life with happiness, security, and self-esteem rather than plunging them back to their insecurities and sufferings…

Support them rather being judgmental…Maybe what they are facing today is perhaps because of the judgment of people around them who have always assumed their judgments to be right…

And thus I support her for embarking a beautiful and enriching life ahead… I support her to accomplish her lost self-esteem; I support her to make her feel good about herself… and I support her for what she is, as all that she needs, is my support and not my advice.

© 2018 Priyanka Bisht

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